im not sure if im doing what im doing to make friends, or whether im on the prowl for something more.
thought id try and be a different person, and hook up with a random just for sex. but im pretty sure im not built that way.
these girls who are responding, im getting to know. literally online getting to know one another and becoming acquaintances(friends).
there is no way i can have random sex with someone im divulging information to.
i say i want random sex, but i doubt i can take action.
question now is, is it cos im still not ready?
not ready to even remotely think about liking someone else for fear of them doing the same thing that you did to me.
i want one of those brain zap things, erase any memory of you, so i never have to think anymore.
i want to be able to hit delete without thinking 'but what if...'
i want to function like a gay man, and not be emotionally attached to anything or anyone and just fuck my brains out so i never remember.
