im not really keeping track, but i think it's been about 4 or 5 weeks since yan ended things.
in recent days, iv been thinking about giving her a call, just to check in on her to see how she is; but truth be told, im not entirely certain about whether or not i can speak to her without my feeling sad or have any 'woe is me' moments.
some things that i've taken as a good signs of recovery (amongst others):
none of those 'i wish we were/could get back together' feelings whilst going through some old photos of us;
going to places we used to hang out at, like fullerton hotel, or habitat coffee where we had our last fight;
no reactions to finding a tshirt she gave me, which i forgot to put aside.
i do reminisce, but i also do know that i have no wish for us to be a couple again.
it hit me the other day, that becky and yan are quite similar in character - i never saw it before.
and now that i see all the similarities, im glad yan had the balls (which i didn't) to call it quits.
i believe the one thing i can definitely do without, is her pessimistic view towards life and things in general, that she sees failure and negative what ifs; like 'what if we fight again', or 'love is not enough', that sort of negativity.
sure, i can be encouraging, and i always see things in more positive light.
perhaps in the future, should we ever be friends again, all that can and will rub off on her.
so here's the question i cannot answer.
why do i feel bad, and why do i feel that need to 'right' the last conversation i had with her.
i feel like i have to 'tell her' that i have no bad feelings towards her ending our relationship. i feel like that's the 'adult' way of handling things, which is what we've based our entire relationship on. being adults.
2 christmas concert tickets sit on my table. they've been set aside for her since the end of September.
what do i do with them?
