i had the most amazing and enlightening counselling session yesterday.
i was tasked to prioritise my life values. the exercise was to determine and show myself that there are some values that are important and non negotiable, know where to draw boundaries, so i don't blame myself if the relationship fails.
these are my values that cannot be compromised:
family
friends
loving
faithfulness
commitment
and the values that i need my partner to have, that cannot be compromised
family
commitment
faithfulness
loving
dependability
fairly similar - a mirror almost.
yan, as far as i'm concerned (and after much evaluation), didn't have 'family' and 'commitment'.
family: yan has her family, but her sense of family is completely different from mine - i want my family to be completely accepting of me (and they are), and i also want my partner's family to be completely accepting me, and vice versa. going to each other's houses, spending time with each other's families and not having to hide etc.
commitment: sure, yan was committed to me, but ultimately she 'doesn't believe in marriage'
that we've broken up isn't her fault, nor was it my fault. it's no one's fault.
we just have different life values. and that's ok.
i will forever be grateful to yan, she will always be a part of my life, and have a special place in my heart.
