as our relationship nears the 1 year mark, we've been having quite a number of arguments, and heavy discussion topics.
mostly workable, but i worry and wonder if we are right for each other.
it seems there might be some things we might find difficulty coming to a consensus; in that she might not be willing to compromise, or that i feel like im making changes to fit the relationship, and she might not be doing the same. I understand that you cannot change yourself completely to a point where you forget who you are, but you also cannot claim to be a perfect person and not want to change for the better.
i think the biggest blip at this juncture, is the discussion we had last night about marriage. some things she said that are worrisome to me:
'i strongly believe that one's happiness is very much derived from oneself, that one doesn't need to be in a relationship to be happy. so that is reflected in my views on marriage and couple hood. i dont believe in marriage marriage confirms and affirms a relationship externally internal harmony and happiness is what is important to me'
'i believe in legal marriage, yes. marriage for the romanticism of it, no'
'our relationship, in my opinion, is still very young. we're still discovering more about each other.
i am committed to you in the present moment
i cannot guarantee anything in the future, nobody can
i can't say that i won't leave you in the future. and neither can you.'
i admit to having some issues (but who doesn't) and to being overly emotional (and hey, that's just me!), but i guess if we don't have the same vision of where the relationship is heading, i dont want to feel that im constantly giving and investing, but not getting similar if not the same returns.
perhaps then, whilst we love each other, the relationship is not meant to be.
