a huge, massive sigh of relief, and weight taken off my shoulders.
this evening, i finally had a chat with my father. long overdue. many years of resentment and anger released.
telling him why i've been angry with him - and no apologies for that. he made a mistake and mucked up our lives, and that's something he has to live with.
there comes a point where, it's just too tiring to continue being angry with someone. it takes too much from you. and what's the point holding on to all the anger when the person he's hurt most (mom) is above it all.
so that's that.
and the 2nd weight lifted - coming out to him.
what a success. i never would have expected his reaction. or non-reaction...
complete acceptance, (albeit with a few very very strange comments about how he wish he knew earlier so he could 'fix' me. which of course was debated. you cannot 'fix' a gay person and make him/her straight)
but more than all this. i learnt quite a bit about my father this evening. about his life, and future plans he wishes, which has made me more forgiving towards him.
so we'll see. i believe my relationship with him is for the better.
i choose happiness.
